Thursday, February 10, 2011

Bieber...You got it all wrong!

  For the millions and billions around the world that watched the Super Bowl this past Sunday, the commercials unfortunately are typically the biggest talk on Monday. As usual, most were terrible, unoriginal, and not funny. A couple were shocking, such as the low blow and direct kick in the balls to Tibet. If you don't recall, it was an ad for "GROUPON" and has Tim Hutton enjoying a fresh bowl of Curry from Tibet, in Chicago, delivered by a Filipino man. I found it to be hilarious and original, but unfortunately people have apparently lost their sense of humor. Why should anyone be exempt from being made fun of? Tragedy or not, comedy makes the world go round. But this is not why I write today. I write because of the Best Buy commercial with Ozzy and the Bieber.
  The Best Buy spot was about the ever changing technology in the world, and how fast we are moving. 3G to 4G to 8G to...you get the point. They used the ever slow Ozzy Osbourne as the initial pitch man, who seemingly, and obviously could not keep up. Clever choice, considering it probably takes him 2 hours to wipe his own ass. If he even knows where it is anymore. Then enters Justin Bieber to replace Ozzy for the commercial. Now we have moved on to 6G, and Bieber exclaims, "Its Bieber, 6G Fever!" and then goes into a tantrum he calls dancing. The scene then cuts back to Ozzy and his wife Sharon:
 
Sharon: "Whats a 6G?"
Ozzy: "What the fuck is a Bieber?"

(great question)

Behind them, in disguise is Bieber playing a set worker. Makeup, fake beard, and wig.

Set dude (Bieber) : "I don't know. It kinda looks like a girl."

  Hahaha...NO! Now we all love when celebrities/athletes are able to make fun and poke at themselves. This was a decent attempt by the Beaver. But he got it all wrong. He has completely missed the joke about his appearance and school girl voice. I have said, along with many, that the kid looks like a lesbian. So perhaps he has taken this the wrong way, in thinking that we feel he looks feminine. 
  Yes, there is a lady look to him, but only in the slightest. That hint of lady, mixed with the rodent on his head he calls hair completes his look. I wonder if Ozzy tried to bite Justin's head off while he was having an acid flash back to eating heads off of small squirrels and rabbits? Would make for a far better Monday conversation. But what I'm trying to get at, is that we call Bieber a little lesbian. And obviously not the good kind. His lesbian look is butch, or what some may call, "Bull Dike" (Frightening term). When you see some typical ladies lezing out, one generally is feminine, and one is generally masculine. Funny how that works.....but we can talk about nature vs nurture another time. 
Actual Picture of liberal Bull
  So Justin, nice try, but you got it all wrong. People don't say that you look like a girl and have a vagina. Essentially, you look like a man, do have a vagina, and actually still like girls. Good on ya. Too all the parents out there; if you want your little girl to grow up, have a family a produce some "old fashioned"  grand kids, I suggest taking Bieber out of their lives...because in 8 years there might be a lot of lesbians running around..in search of the "Bieber Bull".
  Oh...and Beaver...figure out what German is. Dumbass.