"OHHH...MY...GOD!! Step on the gas!!! Damnit!" or "Look at this asshole! Slow down!...He is gonna really hurt someone. I hope he gets in a fatal crash!" Or something like that.The fact of the matter is, we all think we are driving the perfect speed. Whatever pace you are going is the only speed that is correct. People faster than you are crazy assholes, and people going slower are annoying. Now these are all facts, and feelings we all have. We have even arrived to the point in our culture to where we can predict what the driver looks like, down to a science. I am pretty good at this. It's sort of like in the SAT's. If you don't know the answer, your best odds are picking "C". Well, in the driving world, "C" = Asian. Now stereotypes are bad, but unfortunately derived from truths. Yes, Asian's are terrible drivers. Now I'm sure some are good drivers, but pretty sure they were all used in the Fast and the Furious trilogy. And maybe have something to do with TRON and those stupid light bright bikes they are zipping around on.
|Why not the peace sign?|
Men are aggressive, competitive, blah blah blah. Yeah, sometimes you just have to race, OKAY!? Thanks to my accident 8 months ago, I no longer have my sweet 300 horsepower Accord coupe, and have transitioned to the standard mom edition Accord. Sigh. Not taking too many people off the line anymore these days, but I guess its for the best. At least I just tell myself that.
Teenagers are terrible drivers. Simply because they don't know how to drive and bump Kesha while doing their makeup all at the same time. But great multi taskers. They are able to drive to the high school football game, swig some Mike's Hard, text their bff about how they hope "that bitch" doesn't show up, and all while relaxing with their left foot resting on the driver side mirror. (Seriously, when I see people do this I hope they instantly get in a collision and split in half. Not only are you stupid, but you are gross. No one wants to see your busted toes airing off at 50 mph) The only problem with teens ability to multi task is they prioritize incorrectly. Typically driving their 98 Jetta or Tacoma is last on the list.
|God Help Us!|
I pose the question why we don't have some form of law or legislation that requires people over the age of 65 to retake a drive test every other year. And I realize that if it came up to having to vote on this, these are the only people that vote in this damn country, so it would probably never pass. So I leave this to all of you, lets keep Betty and Chester from getting behind the wheel and save some lives. Take away your grandparents keys to the Lincoln or Family Van. They most likely will refuse because they are stubborn assholes. If so, go disconnect the battery from the car. Offer to drive them to the grocery store, thrift shop, or early bird dinner special. It's a win win for everyone. Safer roads, quality time with your grandparents, and maybe they will add a couple extra things in the "Will" for you. Cha ching!